Scribbling

She was sad. Ricky hasn't texted since last Wednesday and had showed a very small sign of life since then. Probably he was living good moments next to his girl. Once he had said they had some good and bad moments. They were definitely going through a nice phase now. And Claire felt so dumb, so lonely, lack of hope. She hadn't lost much, that's for sure. it was a dream, he was kinda famous among this group of people and she was just some lost girl who lived in the countryside by the moutains. Actually she didn't care if he was famous or not...he was handsome. That's all. And he had those small eyes which were so cute and sexy. But strangely he had just disappeared and maybe, among all the reasons she imagined he could have done this for, maybe because she acted kinda immature the last time they talked. some intimacy through a video call was not the best way to break the ice, specially when you're not home alone. Even though she really wanted, she felt embarrassed...

The next day Claire woke up and saw a picture of Ricky with his girl. It was his birthday and the girl had dedicated him a photo of them due to the day. It was not the first time she had seen a picture of the couple but as they had been closer the last days, she felt weird. She just could not describe if it was jealousy or envy. Maybe both. But the feeling that hurt her the most was the frustration caused by the reality that hit her right in the head. Fantasizing was great and the guy was a dream, but being brought from the sky to the floor was terrible. It hurt so badly. She would never have Ricky and, as the well known writer he was, his followers already cheered for the couple and kinda liked the girl. Claire felt so small. They haven't talked since Wednesday, one day before his birthday. And on that very day - Wednesday - they had more intimate moments, even being far away, through the phone. Claire showed herself to him in a way which until that day she hadn't. She felt em...

Claire thought that maybe it would be better if it never happened. Once it became true it would be impossible for her to go back. She had been in love, or at least she thought she had, three times before but this time it felt different. It was more than a passion, it was a connection. A real connection. She felt weird everytime they had the chance to talk, even though it hardly ever happneed once she had a man herself and he had his girl. And she used to say "girl" because she was definitely younger than her. And she was pretty, but she didn't really know how to dress up for an occasion. The girl's clothes were so tacky and in a certain way it made her feel good because at least in this criteria she could win. The girl already had the guy. That was a fact. On the other hand, Claire had such a boring life. She loved her job at the bookstore but at home things were tedious. Working at the bookstore helped her distract herself, meet new people, know about different lifes...